Sunday, November 21, 2010

I am a rather ordinary girl

I guess at this point in my life, I would be considered a woman.  By God, I feel I have earned womanhood.  But somehow, I still think of myself as a girl.  I guess maybe we all do... don't we?  I still feel the same way inside that I did at every stage of my life, that I have no idea what in the hell is going on, I am just smarter now and when somebody (namely my children) ask me a question, I just make up an answer.  I realized years ago that this is what my parents did for me, and I turned out okay, so what can it hurt?

I have another blog, and even though my intent was for it not to be solely about surrogacy, it seems weird to write about anything else there.  I have another blog, but that is a secret... oops!

I have, believe it or not, been told by several people that I should write a book.  I would love to write a book.  Writing for me is a gift, an outlet, a source of joy, and a way to share what is in my heart.  I am not a nice person on the outside, but the part of me that comes out when I write is the true me, the person behind the cranky exterior.  My only problem is that I can't seem to find anything to write about. 
There is a movie called Never Been Kissed, and the opening lines are the main character saying, "they say to write well, you have to write what you know.  This is what I know..."
And in thinking about these lines, I come to the conclusion that I am a rather ordinary girl.  There is nothing amazing about me, about my life, or about my dreams.  So what could I write about that would bring anything new to the world?  I can't just write a mystery, or a romance,  or another coming of age story.  It has all been done.  I, in my constant quest of perfection, am unable to write something that I feel will be mediocre.  I need to write something unique, amazing, creative, and mind-blowing.  And then I need to find a really good Editor :)
So, my thought is this.  I will come here, and share the thoughts of this rather ordinary girl when I get an idea.  And, hopefully, someone will actually stumble across this blog and read what I write.  And then, maybe, they will give me their input as to whether that idea would make a good story (or if it sucks). 
I am pretty sure most of the blogs, and I am sure there are millions, in this blogger world go unread and mine will just be another one of them, but let's just tempt fate and see what happens.