As a gestational surrogate (surrogate mother), I am often assailed with questions about how I could do this to my body, my family, yada yada. The only answer I have is: love. When I see somebody hurting, I want to help. When I see a woman/man/family that can not grow, it breaks my heart.
When I realize how easily I could help them fix that, how can I say no?
If you saw a wounded child on the side of the road, how could you not help them?
Would it matter if that child were your own? Would it matter if that infertile woman was your sister? Sadly, it would.
And then I think of all of the other ways in which we, as a society, do not show love. When we hate people because of their race, their religion, their gender, their sexual preference. And I realize that even though we claim to love each other, we pretty much pick and choose who we want to love.
And then I get angry.
I was raised by a mother (and, I must give credit, a religion) that taught me to love everyone. I was taught that every single human being is a child of God, regardless of anything else, and that was the most important thing. I was taught "Jesus said love everyone". I never thought to question that statement. I love everyone. Well, I don't love everyone, honestly, there are people I really don't like. But I don't like them for personal reasons, not for anything silly like the color of their eyes.
I didn't realize at the time that most people teach "love everyone" to their children, and then, through their actions, teach their children who "everyone" really is. Luckily for me, my mother really did love everyone, so I never learned how not to love everyone.
As I have grown, my view has changed on many things. I don't know that I even know what God is anymore, so I don't know how well I can connect everything to Jesus, but I do know that whatever you believe God is- whether He is a She, Mother Earth, a pantheon of gods, a spirit that lives in each of us, the power of our own minds, the collective spirit of all living things, whatever- that that God is love.
I no longer prescribe to any specific religious views. The only principle that I really prescribe to is love.
I am going to love everyone I can.
When I look at people- it will be through the eyes of love.
When I vote- it will be through the eyes of love.
I am totally, completely, undeniable, and irrevocably imperfect. I make bad choices all the time, but I live with them, and when I can fix them and apologize to those I hurt, I do. I say stupid things all the time- and I apologize all the time as well (my husband perhaps may disagree, but overall...)
I guess the point to this entire rant of mine (written while some Indiana Jones movie plays and my husband and father in law chat in a decidedly distracting manner) is to convey my frustration with all the time our society spends on issues like immigration, racial equality, gender bias, gay rights, and so many other "people" issues. We are all people. Can we just put our common humanity above the many differences between us? Can we not just look on one another in the way my mother taught a young and innocent me?
It's all about love people, it's all about love.