Monday, July 23, 2012

The baby is here

The moment is perfect- as if it were straight out of a movie:  My children walk into the hospital room.  They see their beautiful new baby sister from the doorway.  The baby is pink and chubby, snuggled into the crook of her mother's arm.  Her father stands beside the bed, leaning over the white sheets to lay one hand on his wife's shoulder and another on his newborn daughter's cheek.  My children are overwhelmed with excitement as they race up to the edge of the bed.  Their smiles grow so broad their faces look like they are about to burst.  My children start talking all at once- how cute she is, who will hold her first, all of the giddy comments of a new-made brother or sister.
I, of course, am not in the room.  I, of course, am walking down the hall, tears filling my eyes.  Down the elevator, across the parking lot, and into the car.  It is there that the tears begin to fall.  It is there that the weight of the moment hits me.  My children are bonding with their family- and I am not in the room. 
Another consequence of divorce.  Another piece of my heart gone.  Another ache that must be forever hidden from my children. 
Divorce never stops hurting.   

Monday, July 16, 2012

When I grow up

When I grow up
I want to be pure Spirit
So I can be everywhere
I will watch my children and hold them in arms of love
They will feel my warmth and care
I will soar to hospitals
And heal the heart of grief
I will float through school houses
And hold the hand of children lost
I will fly throughout this world
And share the gift of love and peace
I will do the work of Angels
I will spread the love of God
I will know who is in need
I will make weak souls stronger
And I will bring hope to the despairing
I will complete my life this way
And when I need His love
I will beam myself to Heaven
And sit in company of Gods.