Sunday, November 21, 2010

I am a rather ordinary girl

I guess at this point in my life, I would be considered a woman.  By God, I feel I have earned womanhood.  But somehow, I still think of myself as a girl.  I guess maybe we all do... don't we?  I still feel the same way inside that I did at every stage of my life, that I have no idea what in the hell is going on, I am just smarter now and when somebody (namely my children) ask me a question, I just make up an answer.  I realized years ago that this is what my parents did for me, and I turned out okay, so what can it hurt?

I have another blog, and even though my intent was for it not to be solely about surrogacy, it seems weird to write about anything else there.  I have another blog, but that is a secret... oops!

I have, believe it or not, been told by several people that I should write a book.  I would love to write a book.  Writing for me is a gift, an outlet, a source of joy, and a way to share what is in my heart.  I am not a nice person on the outside, but the part of me that comes out when I write is the true me, the person behind the cranky exterior.  My only problem is that I can't seem to find anything to write about. 
There is a movie called Never Been Kissed, and the opening lines are the main character saying, "they say to write well, you have to write what you know.  This is what I know..."
And in thinking about these lines, I come to the conclusion that I am a rather ordinary girl.  There is nothing amazing about me, about my life, or about my dreams.  So what could I write about that would bring anything new to the world?  I can't just write a mystery, or a romance,  or another coming of age story.  It has all been done.  I, in my constant quest of perfection, am unable to write something that I feel will be mediocre.  I need to write something unique, amazing, creative, and mind-blowing.  And then I need to find a really good Editor :)
So, my thought is this.  I will come here, and share the thoughts of this rather ordinary girl when I get an idea.  And, hopefully, someone will actually stumble across this blog and read what I write.  And then, maybe, they will give me their input as to whether that idea would make a good story (or if it sucks). 
I am pretty sure most of the blogs, and I am sure there are millions, in this blogger world go unread and mine will just be another one of them, but let's just tempt fate and see what happens.

1 comment:

  1. Write about divorce. Not just about a divorce between a man and a woman, but your divorce with faith and God. You have experienced several different types of divorce, and it has affected you very deeply. But part of how it has affected you is in how you've grown or changed from it.

    Too many individuals allowing those challenges to pull them down and keep them down; however, you have not. It may take years to overcome some of the challenges, but every day is one day closer.

    I love how you write and express your feelings. I wish I could do the same. It truly is a talent.